shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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