I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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