Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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