Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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