Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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