i think my mom watched the whole time
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This is my gift to your gina
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
God I need to hump something, right now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
