To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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