it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
