we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
