I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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