Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
