Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
