My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
