i barfeds in our rink
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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