yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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