the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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