thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
