oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize