i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
