im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
