found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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