Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
