Your dad touched me again.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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