I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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