So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
