This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
