So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
