you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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