Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
