Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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