There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
