So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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