I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
