It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You peed on a flamingo?!?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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