Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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