you guys were way drunker than both of me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
