That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
