Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
