thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So many bounce houses so little time
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
