hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
