i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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