You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
