I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
