It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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