I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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