he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
