I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
