He is such a slut. More and more my type.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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