that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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