There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
