apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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