My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
