dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I wear drunk well.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
