But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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