Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
