I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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