oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
