let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
