this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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