yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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