Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
