Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
