dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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