i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
