we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
