i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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