My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
