You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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