I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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