i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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