in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
