Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
