that's an acceptable place to lick
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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