Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
