Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
